Joy, Rapture and Drunk Guy

I work at a restaurant in downtown Ottawa, ON, Canada. Lots of tourists, lots of business people and occasionally, like this morning, lots of drunks.

My morning started off wonderfully today. Had someone come up to me and ask if I knew there was a drunk guy passed out near the washrooms. My response was: "No. Something like that I try to deal with right away." I went up to the washrooms and saw the guy, mostly passed out and smelling of Listerine, urine and I'm pretty sure feces. On top of the payphone is an empty bottle of Listerine and on the floor below is the guy and he can barely move. I call the cops from my cellphone and they ask me to give a brief description of the guy. They then tell me that someone will be right over (we are located about 6 blocks away from the Police Station).

At this point I should be serving tables and making tips but my customers are sitting one story down and in the care of my co-worker. Drunky McMouthwash lifts his head and tells me that he's just going to lie here for a little longer. I inform him that the cops are on their way and he tells me not to call the cops. My response is: "Sorry, already have." and he tells me that I'm a prick. He calls me a prick twice more and then tells me that he didn't mean it.

I'm fairly sure that if someone calls you a prick three times in one conversation, he means it.

The cops arrive and they take him away. I go downstairs and see my customers. One is annoyed that I disappeared and tips me a dollar for two breakfasts. Luckily only had three tables at the time so didn't lose too much money because of this guy.

Sidenote: When the cops arrived, they must have recognized the guy because they asked where his Listerine bottle was. Apparently cops get regulars too.